{it just} hurts

I am not one to hide my emotions. It always shows on my face and I end up laying it all out on the table. No guessing games. It is my blessing and my curse.

Not too often do I admit to having a tender-heart {yes, it can come out as a emotion}. When others are crying, I cry with them. When others hurt, I ache for them. I share their joys and their anger. So, I guess where my fault lies is to expect others to do the same for me.

But, it doesn't always happen that way. Now, I am used to being pushed away, betrayed and trampled on. And I have my fair share of warnings. This explains why I only have a couple of genuine friends. They are the ones I can confide in. But with everyone else, I lock my heart up with a key and guard it. I play it cool until I feel I can trust someone. Then, I open my heart very hesitantly {at first} and I spill my guts.

And just as quickly as I do, I get hurt all over again.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Even worse, why do we as Christians do this to each other? God knows I am JUST as guilty of this crime as the person who does me wrong. But, I DO NOT want to be that way. I want to LOVE on people. I want them to feel that they can come to me, confide in me, and spill their guts to me. I do not even want to hesitate for a moment to hug on someone or hold their hand or cry with them when they really need someone.

So, I leave us with this: If we are really the body of Christ, then please let your arms reach out, your hands heal, and your words teach.

love well always,

sarahjo

{page-turners}

Think it's possible to read all these by the end of the summer? {ha ha.} Ok, I'm dreaming a bit. But, maybe {hopefully} in the next few months. Nothing like summer reading.

sarahjo

the darn mountain {is technical}

I must admit it's a little strange to go to the pool in 100 degree heat, and yet be packing my winter clothes for a hike {weather permitting at this point}.

Either way, I have a whole week off. I guess I can live with that.

And no, those are not my hiking shoes. I can very clearly see that they were made for water-related activities. No need to worry!

sarahjo

oh, hello {again}

Once again. From here on out, every time I pick up a Smart Water I will be checking the inside sticker for new little water-friendly critters.

It's the little thing in life.

sarahjo

{mean what you say}

So, a little over 2 months ago I went with my little sister to see Taylor Swift. It was everything I hoped it would be and so much more. I am constantly overwhelmed by how grateful and shocked she is by the crowd she draws and the amount of fans she has. Taylor has a heart of gold. Seriously.

Not only did she take about 10-15 minutes in between songs to hug as many fans as possible, {she sang up in the stands, then sang a couple other songs in the back row. Sweetheart.} and give away her beautiful headband to a little girl, but she also {of course} invited her very best friend Abigail to the show {who goes to KU, how convenient!}.

Now, my sister and I had some pretty good seats. So why would it surprise me to see Taylor's mom and Abigail walk RIGHT BY US before the concert? It shouldn't. But it did! I found myself practically rubbing elbows/shoulders with celebrities. And yes, I was totally aware that my mouth was wide open. I was being rude. Oops!

But that's not what made my night. Taylor dedicated one of her songs {which I'm sure some of you know "Fifteen" which is written about her} to Abigail. And before she started, she pointed right at Abigail to let the whole crowd know where she was, started strumming her acoustic guitar, and mouthed to her "I love you."

I teared up and held back sobs the entire song. You see, Taylor and Abigail were never the "cool" 0r "popular" girls. But their friendship has a tight bond. They are NOT fair-weather friends. I imagine that Taylor is the kind of girl that takes friendship seriously. Probably doesn't mess around with her gal-pals ex's. And I also imagine that she doesn't say the words "I love you" to just anyone. She MEANS it.

I wanna be that girl. When I say the words, I wanna mean it. I don't ever tell I friend I love them unless I truly do. True friends are hard to come by. They are there through thick and thin. They call you up for no reason at all. They genuinely care about you. They don't talk to you just to have another friend on Facebook, or to be more popular. They LOVE.

By the way, my sister and I did get a picture with Abigail. She's very sweet.

Be a true friend always,

sarahjo

{who decides?}

I've always loved Everlife. This is just one more reason. Because no one can honestly say that they don't look in the mirror and critique themselves. More to come on this issue. I'm pretty passionate about it.

{sorry the video sounds so horrible}

sarahjo

{this life}

I realized something the other day while chatting with a friend online. As we exchanged stories of how our jobs have been and where and what we wanna do next, it hit me that nursing really isn't my life. It's something I love to do and I don't intend on ever giving it up, but it's not what defines me. And while I am proud of my friend and the fact that she wants to go on to get her Master's and/or be a doctor, I know that's not for me.

I started making a list {do all mine consist of ten points?!} in my head of all the things I want to do::

1. I want to try out for American Idol {I know it's silly, but I came very close to doing so last year}

2. I would love to travel. Not for the rest of my life. But a little.

3. I want to do volunteer work.

4. I want to run the Disney Princess 1/2 Marathon at Walt Disney World {the happiest place on earth}

5. I want to play the piano again.

6. I want to learn to wakeboard.

7. I wanna be a photographer. {not professional}

8. I want to craft fun little knick knacks and plant a beautiful garden.

9. I want to be a swim lesson instructor. Always.

10. I want to say out loud what my last dream is... and though I have an idea, God has yet to reveal this beautiful seed that started to root itself months ago.

love you to pieces,

sarahjo

i run {for 30 minutes...}

So what if my form is terrible and I probably run as slow as a turtle? My "run" is more of a jog, but it doesn't mean I sacrifice less than a 7-minute mile girl. We all got our gifts and talents. Some of us just have to work harder and tweek our goals to get there.

For me, climbing Long's Peak {via Keyhole Route} is enough to motivate me. Which means lots of cardio, becoming buddies with the treadmill {inclined the whole 15}, and lifting weights. YES! I did all that! And it's not even the end of the week!

Sorry, I'm just a tad excited that my motivation {finally!} kicked in. ;)

So, while I'll never be this kid::

{that's my bro}

I know that I still made it up that hill today. And that's all I could ask for.

Happy Weekend-ing,

sarahjo

{sometimes you're losing}

bad. day. running:: attempted 30 minutes and unknowingly threw a hill in the mix. watch:: battery running low. dinner:: ate it right before my "run". result:: a side stitch, nausea, and only 20 minutes of "running".

pitiful.

tomorrow:: the treadmill. inclined.

sarahjo

mine {all mine}

Summer isn't the same here in Oklahoma. I have been trying to find simple things to occupy my time that will make it seem like this place is as good as Kansas. But truth be told, it isn't.

Where are all the oak trees? Do they even have any here?

I need a little less city, more wide open spaces.

The kids that gather at the local snow cone joint make me smile, but there's heartache when I realize it just reminds me of the pool.

My quiet mornings here in the apartment only make me more saddened by the fact that they are no longer filled with screaming children who are starting swim lessons for the first time.

I'm about to drown in self-pity. What a rude awakening. I'm doing this to myself. It's mine. All mine.

Time to go run.

sarahjo