my poor little blog probably feels so helpless from me abandoning it.
it’s pathetic really.
fear will do that to you,
i guess… make you abandon people, places, things that made you happy. speaking
from experience, being in a particularly vulnerable place in life myself, fear
is a terrible corner to back yourself up in. i have harbored the full spectrum
of emotions over the past several months. & somehow after all the anger,
crying, jealousy, + hurt begin to dwindle, i have fear leftover on my plate. fear
in how to approach these situations + people that have been the cause. i have this fear of saying the wrong words at
the wrong moment. but if i’m really being honest, then i need to say out loud
how i’m feeling. i need to be vulnerable.
& i’m trying to gain some perspective.
i’ve been looking at my current state so closely, i feel like i’ve put it under
a magnifying glass. & all i can see is the negative. my heartache, anger,
hopelessness… it’s time to take a step back and look at the big picture. there
will be something good that will come out of this, right? i have to believe
there will be. otherwise, i will be stuck in my fearful corner for awhile…
sarahjobell
